Thursday, May 8, 2008

"kinda, sorta...but not really"

So this has become my mantra of late. "kinda, sorta, but not really"... is my shoulder getting better???? kinda sorta but not really. Nobody seems to know what's wrong with it, and it still hurts like hell. I'm on constant doses of oxycontin which is making me quite useless, yet I'm still trying to work and function, because I only just barely have enough vacation time to get through my trip to Canada this summer and I'm down to 1.46 hours of sick time. So pretty much on the work front I'm screwed. On the home front, my husband is in town for now, so it takes alot of the day to day tasks off my shoulders, but doesn't make it any easier on him or our son....sigh yet again.

I went to the doc for the 4th time now, and she added prednisone to my steady diet of pills and patches. So far it's been 2 full days and the pain is slightly dulled, so keep your fingers crossed. I've also been getting only about 4 hours total of sleep a night which is good in that, it's double over the amt. from the last 2 weeks but it's about a third of what my body needs in reality...on a good day, let alone a bad fms day.

I had a shoulder x-ray done, as my PT and doc were sure I had either a bone spur or cartiledge damage....but nope...everything looks "perfect" with my shoulder. Now in most instances this would make me happy, but right now it totally sucks, cuz we're still completely lost in terms of what is wrong with me. Quite frankly the pain and lack of sleep are really getting to me! This whole situations sucks!

All I can think is here's hobbz complaining yet again..some more...another time. It seems like everytime I get over one major health issue another comes up. So here I am with major injury/problem number 4 in as many months. 2008 can retire right flipping now for all I care. lol.

So I apologize for letting both my family blog and my fms blog suffer, but I can only do what I can do, and at the moment: what I can do is pathetically little. For the now the plan is to continue with PT for another 2 weeks and if there isn't "significant" improvement then it's off to the MRI and an ortho surgeon consult...ick ack oop. Please, please no!

On a completely different topic, I hope folks had a chance to read the "spoon theory", it's the most honest and accurate account of what it's like to live with a chronic illness/disability that I've come across. Though it was conceived of and created by someone with Lupus it speaks totally of my experience with fms, and I'm guessing the same is true for MS, chronic fatigue, etc....

fight the good fight folks, and I'll try to be on more!



Anonymous said...

You should not apologize. At least you have a blog. I cant do one. More power to you. And a very good blog. Luv, HHJoy

Diane J Standiford said...

Just take care of you.