Thursday, October 16, 2008

I'm still here

It has definitely been awhile since my last post. I'm almost through my first official week of working from home, and I can see the difference already. Monday I spent the entire day at home and felt great. Wednesday I had meetings all day and was at work for over 5 hours....I was exhausted, it was back to how I felt daily going to work and slogging it out. I'm so thankful that today, I was able to get up with my son and do a couple hours of work before taking him to school. The beautiful part was that when I got home from dropping him off, and my legs were killing me and I was drop dead tired, I simply went back to bed. Wow, what a concept. I slept for a few hours and then got up and did some work. It's all at my leisure and while my body is cooperating. Obviously I can't get out of set meetings, but most days won't be 5 hours long like yesterday. I am so incredibly thankful for this opportunity.

Other than that, I've noticed the last couple of weeks that my mind has been enveloped by the "fibro fog", and I absolutely hate it. It's like I'm 4 steps behind everyone else, and it makes me feel so dumb. I play an online computer game where we talk with each other on headsets...my fog got so bad a couple of nights that the group I was playing with insisted that I was drunk...and in all seriousness I was just plain old fogged out me....How depressing! Our weather has turned decidedly winter-like, so I'm hoping it's just my body adjusting to the new weather. "they" say that fibromyalgia isn't a progressive disease, but honestly sometimes I wonder. When you're in a never ending (seemingly) flare, it's hard to remember that this too shall pass.

Like Cinders mentioned in her last comment, it's my online fibro links/buddies that keep me feeling normal and sane. I too go through periods of self-doubt and fear that this is all in my head. However it only takes a quick conversation with those I live with, or to get online with those that know first hand to realize that this is a very REAL disease. Who would make this stuff up, anyways? It's just easy to lose sight of what's real when your life and symptoms are so nebulous and ever changing.

Until next time...here's wishing good health to all!

hobbz

1 comment:

Donimo said...

Yup, not a big fan of the fog. It is soooo frustrating. When I only had Fibro (before car accidents and lots of complications), I used to think that if I had a choice of what I could get rid of, I would choose mental fogginess over pain. At that point my pain was not as bad as it is now. Not that those kinds of head games ever help matters!

So glad to hear that working from home is going so well. Way to go for making this change. Thanks for dropping by my blog. I'm hanging in there (did a little update in the comments today) and will some day rise again to do proper posts!

Yeah, who would make this stuff up? What a collection of symptoms.