Tired!!!!!

I haven't written much lately, primarily because I've been dead dog tired. I go through flares with this disease, and apparently I'm in one right now. The pain has, for the most part, been manageable with meds....but tired????? oh man it's been a killer. It was to the point this morning that I had to turn the heat off in my jeep on the way to work, for fear that I couldn't stay awake. Let me tell you folks, I only have about a 10 minute drive. It's totally crazy, cuz I sleep a good 8 to 9 hours and I wake up completely exhausted. And no for those of you who are wondering, I'm not oversleeping.

I'm sure I've mentioned it before but people with fms suffer ALOT from being exhausted. Our bodies don't enter the restorative stages of sleep and thus can't heal themselves and refuel....it sucks so much to wake up and feel more tired than when you went to bed the night before.
It makes concentrating during my work day a challenge.....lol....luckily the people at work can laugh it off with me. Even that though, is a double edged sword. The main 3 people know that I have fibromyalgia, but they don't really know what that means, and they seem uncomfortable to ask. I haven't really broached it with them because I don't 1. want to push it on anyone, but 2. and more importantly for me, I don't want to sound like I'm whinning, complaining, or even making excuses. That's one of the big pitfalls with fms, is we don't LOOK sick in the least so people don't believe that we really are suffering. I think too, at least in my case, I get good at trying to keep up appearences and then just collapse when I get home, which isn't very healthy either.

It's quite a balancing act that I've gotten myself into. You can sense when people feel uncomfortable when you're talking about the disease, but on the other hand I want to increase awareness at the same time. So for right now anyways my tactic is to explain it if asked....or like now have a very personal tattoo that keeps me strong, but also allows for some sort of dialog when someone asks about it. But as predicted I'm a work in progress, and the struggles that fibro makes me face everyday, are ever fluctuating and changing. As are as evidenced here, my emotions and feelings toward this damn disease. For right now, anyways, I'm reasonably comfortable with how I'm dealing with and coping with the disease in my everyday life...but go figure....nothing stays static! poop!

that's my thought for today....may you all have a wonderful day !

hobbz