I am a member of the National Fibromyalgia Association, as I'm sure I've mentioned before. Every month they put out an electronic newsletter this is an exerpt from one of the articles written by a patient with FM, that kind of rang true with me so I thought I would share it with you....
"Around 1998 my pain wasn’t very well controlled. I couldn’t understand the pain that had now moved to my legs and arms. A constant burning and stinging pain that never goes away. I recall lying on the floor with my head in my wife’s lap saying that I would rather die than have to live with the pain.....
For me, my pain is a constant reminder of both my ... FM. I don’t have a time during the day that it isn’t gnawing away at me. When I go to bed at night I have difficulty sleeping and routinely wake up feeling like I haven’t slept. But I have found two things that have kept me going from day to day with an eye on the future. First is having focus and setting goals. For me, having something meaningful to work toward and setting personal goals helps to keep my mind active and not focused on pain. The second and most important is my wife, Pat, who never gave up on me, never left my side, and always was there for me. She shared my defeats and sorrows but was a constant. She reveled in my victories and has shown and shared her true love"
These words rang true for me in a couple of different ways. One, it's a constant reminder to me that I am not "crazy" and the pain is very REAL. It's not something that comes and goes. Yes the intensitiy changes, depending on whether or not I'm in a bad flare up....but I have pain constantly 24/7 and it's just a manner of how well I can control it with meds and activity. Sometimes I feel very isolated and alone, and it's hard to focus on the big picture, but the author is right; it's key to keep focused on future goals or dreams, so as not to get bogged down by the pain. Which leads right into the second thing that hit me, that is the never failing support of a spouse who goes through ALL the ups and downs with you. They might not feel your pain, but they have their own pain, watching someone they love go through the litany of symptoms that come with fibro. There has been many a time that I have looked at my husband through tears, and said the very words " I'd rather die than go through this pain any longer". Do I really want to die? NO, but this disease just wears you down and when you're in a low point, it makes all the difference to know that you have someone to lean on, that will prop you up and take care of things for you until you can get to the other side.
So with that said, I would like to thank my husband Bret for EVERYTHING that he puts up with, and endures, as part of this disease. It doesn't just affect the person with the disease, It creates a whole new dynamic in any family, including ALL family members.
Thanks Bret for everything, I don't know where I would be without you!!!! From the last one to the next one chooch!