So after a long weekend of vascillating back and forth....to work or not to work.....a decision has finally been made. In my last post I was in so much indecision, and all that disappeared once I was back at work on Monday, after very little recovery time over the weekend. It has become totally clear to both my husband and myself that at this point I just don't need to be working. I very much need to take some time off and get my health and my life back, to whatever extent that is possible.
When I got a great review on Friday, it was almost like I was seeing that old me, that person that strived to define herself by the work that she did. I am just, and I would argue even more valuable as a healthy me that stays at home. I think I just needed to morn that old life and get to a point of acceptance with the life I lead now with fibromyalgia. I so wish that I could convey to friends and family how different and difficult our life has become. Yet by the same token, it has certainly forced me to live life on life's terms and realize that I have more to offer myself, my family, and the world, by being the best me I can be. At this point and time I can't do that AND work.
So yes the decision is made, once my husband is back at work (2weeks from now), I will be giving my notice at work. While there is some fear around loss of income, both my husband and I know that this is the right thing to do, and have made peace with this decision.
I want to thank all those who also suffer from some sort of chronic/invisible illness that read this blog and help me keep a realistic perspective on where my life is at this point. Thanks you are all a life line for me!!!!