Friday, February 4, 2011

It's been a long couple of days...

I've tried to deny it over the last week, but I'm officially in a flare from hell. Not sleeping, completely exhausted, and I'm in icky icky pain....sigh. At first I of course panicked and decided that the savella was no longer working, but I've gained some perspective again and now I think it just is what it is a flare. I have been extremely lucky in that when I was pregnant my fibro was almost a non-issue so it's been close to 2 year since I've had a really bad flare...so i think that's why this has caught me off guard.

It's one of those flares where you just want to curl up in the fetal position and cry. The good thing however, is that I've been able, for the most part, to keep a reasonable perspective and not nose dive emotionally too. Not that I could have said that at 4 this morning, but I'm trying. Progress not perfection...progress not perfection...this mantra is keeping me going. It's just after 2 in the afternoon and I've been up for 12 hours and my little one is just happy as a clam playing, so I don't think much of a nap is in sight. Emma goes to bed early though so mom will be right behind her.

This disease is one that is constantly with you, but for me at least, still has the ability to sneak up and bite me in the butt...even when I think I'm on top of it. I have to remember that flares are just part and parcel of the whole deal. So yes life sucks right now....and of course my husband left this morning for his 2 weeks away at work...so the baby and I are on our own once again...why would it happen any other way???? We all have our crap, and I guess this is my crap to deal with...so I'll march on, and cry when I need to...rest when I can...and love my little girl the best that I know how.

here's hoping all of you are having a minimal pain day!

hobbz

4 comments:

Sherlock said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your flare. Hopefully it won't last too long. Meanwhile do whatever you can to take care of YOU! Good thoughts and cyberhugs coming your way!

Dee said...

I'm in the middle of one the worst flares I've had in a couple of years. Nothing seems to help does it? I hope you're free of pain soon boo!

Missie said...

Since having gastric bypass surgery in Dec, none of my Fibro meds work. I'm in constant pain. Who knows what I'll have to try next. Feel better.

hobbz said...

thank you all of you for your thoughts! Dee i'm in the same position...man this is a really bad one!!!!! Missie i hope you find a good combo soon...but yes i can identify with wondering when, oh when the pain will end...actually not even end...just let up a little!!!!

hang in there fellow fibromites!!!!!!!!