Saturday, September 15, 2007

it's all in the perspective...

Sooooo, here's the thing....everything we experience and do in our lives, all boils down to perspective. If I choose to believe that all is bad and that life is conspiring against me. Well....then....frankly it does. So the key for me it seems, is how to shift the frame through which I view the world, and subsequently view my illness. When I last wrote everything, big or small, seemed overwhelming and insurmountable. What I have to remember, ( I think), is that whatever feeling, view, belief that we are experiencing in this very simply that...just a moment in time. Who knows what the next moment will bring.

We can ALWAYS be worse off. Conversely, the opposite is true, we can always find something good to focus on as well. All these theories seem so simple in concept, but in the moment in the reality of a situation, it seems a daunting task to remember to step back and look at the whole picture.

Fibromyalgia strikes in the moment, and you never know from minute to minute how you are going to feel. It's easy to get stuck in the circle of always waiting for the other shoe to drop...this disease can have a cruel sense of humor. I think it's key to have time alone each day to meditate, center yourself, pray...whatever you subscribe focus on the big picture and to be in tune not only with your body, but to make that body connection link up to your brain too. All too often I've thought myself into a problem that didn't/doesn't even exist...what good is any of that????

All I know is that typing this and putting it out there for anyone to see, is terrifying and freeing all at the same time...I've always taken pride in my ability to hide what's really going on with me. I never want the whole truth out there, but one of the biggest problems with having this disease is that sooooooo many people are completely ignorant and unaware of it's existence. You can't tell by looking at someone if they have FMS, and lots of people have been judged and told that their dramatizing or making shit up for attention. It simply isn't true! This disease takes over and has some devastating effects, they just aren't it's my belief that even if only one other person reads least I've spread the word.

So to anyone that reads this...just take note and understand that this is a real condition, and it is life altering, but it doesn't have to be life my fellow fibromites...stand strong and try to keep the big picture in the frame...don't zoom in!


1 comment:

aplseed said...

I find your insights about FMS much the same as mine. It is about perspective,but when you are in pain day after day for months on end it can be easy to loose the perspective. I don't even realize how many times I groan and moan till a family memeber gets sick of hearing it. I am lucky in that my MIL also has FMS and has for as long or longer than I have ,and she understands. My Hubby having seen her does understand,but it can;t be easy to have a wife that just can't handel stuff like she could before,and the fibrofog really taxes his patience since he has a low tolerence for the forgetfullness.Sometimes he feels I don't listen to him and takes it as a sign of disrespect.

The job thing is also a problem. I have struggled,sucked it up and done everything through the pain for years,but this year I was dealt a blow after a truck accident and lost that carreer,which is forcing me to look for something else. I have tried to get into office jobs where I can use past nursing skills,but have had no success,probably due to my total lack of office experience.Soon unemployment will be gone,and I will have to suck it up and try and get a job in nursing again despite the physical demands.

I so wish there was an easy answer in this DX.At least there have been some breakthroughs,the Lyrica has begun to be a big help for me.

I try and get out and photograph beauty all around me as a means to keep the spirits up.It makes me forget the pain and encourages me to be a bit more active.